Kiss Me on the Inside Page 15

  Tears ran from Nikki’s eyes as she left the bathroom, hurriedly putting one foot in front of the other to make it out the door. Before her hand could hold on to the knob she was on her way back to the bathroom and her head was back into the toilet bowl. Nikki wasn’t going to accept defeat; she had to take her finals. Once again she stood on her feet and washed her mouth at the sink. “You are not going to stop me!” she yelled at her stomach. “I have to do this to prepare a good future for us. Do you hear me! I have to take my test.” She was already scolding her unborn child. “You weren’t a part of my plan but you are now. Regardless of the fact that your father wants you dead Mommy loves you.” She cried, “Please help Mommy get out the door. Please let me do this for us.” Nikki made it as far as the living room and decided to sit for a while. Nausea brought her ass to the couch.

  The long hand of the clock was on five and the short was on nine. The test was scheduled to begin at 9:30 a.m. and there was no way she could make it in five minutes.

  “No! No,” she screamed like a wounded animal. Her textbook was on the coffee table and Nikki took out her frustration, ripping it to pieces like a shredder.

  “I hate you! I hate you.” She threw the vase that resided on the coffee table as a centerpiece into a picture that hung on the hall. The vase and the glass frame met with each other and shattered into pieces. The picture was of her and Mark during happier times. “I wasn’t supposed to be like this!” She picked herself up. “How could you leave me when I needed you the most?”

  All her planning and studying was in vain. She had derailed her own dreams of becoming a heart surgeon. She sobbed, looking at herself in the mirror, feeling disappointed and betrayed.

  Nikki locked herself inside the house for days. She wasn’t accepting phone calls or even answering her doorbell.

  A few days had passed and Mark went by the house to apologize but when he tried to open the door, the chain restricted his entry. All his calls got sent to voicemail. It’d been almost a week since he last saw her. He dialed the number again and like always he left a message. “I’m sorry for what I said about the baby and I’m concerned about you. Call me. I’m sorry.”

  The phone made several beeps, awaking Nikki from her slumber. She got out of bed and her feet entered her awaiting bed slippers. You could tell that her appearance was the least of her worries. Nikki hadn’t eaten a good meal in days she was constantly munching on crackers because that was the only thing the baby seemed to accept. She lazily walked to the bathroom and heavily covered her toothbrush with Crest whitening toothpaste. She took a long look in the mirror and fear took over the once-glowing look that was in her eyes. She was worried, scared, vulnerable, and pregnant. Was I really blinded by love?

  Chapter 21

  Beep. Beep. Nikki’s phone indicated that she had a text message. Nikki tried to locate her cell phone with one hand feeling around on the bed. She took the phone back into hiding under the cover. Realizing the text was from Mark, Nikki’s head popped up from under the sheet. I’ll be back from out of town in a week. I’m going to do the right thing.

  That was all Nikki needed to hear. She listened to all his messages and was starting to believe that he was sorry for the way he handled the situation.

  “He’s going to do the right thing. He’s going to propose.” She found the strength to get out of bed. “I have a wedding to plan.” She was overjoyed. “He just needed some time to think, that’s all. He loves me. Mark loves me,” she assured herself. “He was just caught off-guard by the fact that I was pregnant. In all honesty I wasn’t ready for a child either.”

  One week was all the time she needed to get everything set up for her wedding. She was going to wait for an engagement ring. When Mark returned he wouldn’t have to ask, “Will you marry me?” But instead he would say, “I do.”

  She was going to need some extra help. Only a few people knew about her relationship with Mark because Mark wanted it that way. Nikki ran through her phone book and stopped at Tina’s name. “Should I call her for help?”

  Nikki procrastinated. But her best friend, Genie, was all the way in Massachusetts. Tina was the closest person who could be there in no time. Nikki hit the send button and put the phone on speaker because her hands were busy brushing her tangled hair, which she hadn’t combed through in days. “Girl, I need your help. How soon can you get here?” Nikki frowned her face as the comb raked through the knotted hair.

  “What is the urgency?” Tina questioned.

  Nikki pick up the phone and spoke directly into it. “I have a big project to do and I need your help. So how soon can you get here?”

  “In ten minutes.”

  Nikki finally got the knots out of her hair and stripped her clothes off. Her body’s frame was smaller than usual. You can tell she lost a few pounds from not being able to eat anything. She entered the shower and the water spewed from the showerhead. She jumped back when the hot water hit her body. She sidestepped, reaching for the gauge, and adjusted the temperature. She turned her backside to the water and tilted her head back. The warm water soaked through her hair, quickly reaching her scalp. The water trickled down her back, running smoothly over her round chocolate ass. She shampooed her hair and the suds slowly slid down her back, caressing her ass, then down to her feet. The aroma from the green-apple shampoo filled the air. Her fingers massaged her scalp, relaxing and de-stressing her body. Nikki rinsed the suds from her hair and reached for her body wash. She lathered her body, feeling like a renewed woman.

  The doorbell chimed and she quickly ended her shower. She half opened the door with her towel covering her nakedness.

  Tina stood with her hands on her hips. “Are you going to let me in or not?” Nikki walked away from the door with Tina following her. “I need details. What’s the big project?” Tina followed her to the bedroom. Nikki released the towel from her head and her wet hair cascaded down her back. “All of a sudden you are mute.”

  Nikki took a deep breath and exhaled. “I need your help to plan my wedding within a week.” The scream Tina let out made Nikki cover her ears.

  “Let me see the ring, girl.” She took Nikki by the hand but didn’t see the diamond. “Where is it?”

  Nikki pulled her hand away. “There’s none.” She walked to her closet.

  “What?” Tina questioned.

  “He didn’t actually propose but—”

  “But he wants to skip the engagement and get married,” Tina finished her sentence.

  “Not really.”

  “What exactly are you saying, Nikki?” Tina asked, afraid to hear the answer.

  “I just need your help to plan a surprise wedding that’s all.”

  “No, Nikki. You can’t be serious,” Tina said, shaking her head, already knowing it was a bad idea.

  “If you won’t help me then I suggest you leave.” Nikki pulled on pink Victoria’s Secret sweatpants with the words LOVE PINK written across her butt.

  “Nikki, if that man wanted to get married he would have proposed to you.”

  “It’s either you’re with me or against me. So which is it?” Nikki stared at her for the answer.

  After a brief moment of silence Tina reluctantly gave her answer. “I have your back. I’ll catch you when you fall.”

  “I thought so.” Nikki walked out of the bedroom and went to the bathroom. She retrieved her blow dryer from under the sink.

  “Can I just ask you one question?” Tina asked.

  “What is it, Tina?” She plugged the dryer in.

  “What’s the rush, Nikki?”

  Nikki turned the dryer on, blocking out anything else Tina had to say.

  “I honestly thought you wanted me to come over here and help you with a presentation for a job. Because I know you had to have aced your finals. I had no idea I was going to plan a wedding!” Tina yelled over the sound from the dryer. Nikki turned the dryer off and hovered over the sink with tear escaping from her eyes.

  “I’m sorry if I hur
t your feelings,” Tina consoled her. Nikki cried, pounding her fist on the sink. “What’s wrong, Nikki? Please talk to me.”

  “I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid. I’m smarter than this. How could I be such a fool?”

  Tina was clueless as to what Nikki was rambling about. “First it was a surprise wedding. Now you’re crying, cursing yourself. Are you okay? Because now you are scaring me.”

  Nikki wiped her eyes and looked up at herself in the mirror. “I derailed my own dreams,” Nikki cried out.

  Tina brushed a few loose strands of hair from Nikki’s face. “What are you taking about, Nikki? You’re not making any sense.”

  “I didn’t get to take my finals. I’m pregnant.” Tina paused and took a step back. Nikki walked out of the bathroom. “All that I’ve been preparing for is out the window.”

  “This is just a minor setback.” Tina ran after her, stopping in front of her. Tina wrapped her arms around her. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you.”

  “And so is Mark. He loves me, Tina. We are going to be a family. That’s why you have to help me plan this wedding.”

  Tina looked at Nikki and knew she wasn’t thinking straight. She was bouncing from one subject to the next trying to cover up her pain and disappointments. “I need to have everything ready for him to marry me when he gets back.” Nikki wasn’t her normal self and Tina was worried but she decided to go along with Nikki’s wedding plans. Nikki was hurting and if this was what would make her happy Tina was going to be there for her.

  The days went by fast it was two days before Mark was expected to return. She spoke to Mark a few times but their conversations were short because he was always too busy to talk to her. “I love you, Mark,” she said at the end of every conversation, and his reply would be, “I have to go; I’m busy.” Nikki was starting to second-guess her decision. With Mark’s attitude she was starting to wonder if he was going to be back on the day he said.

  Nikki lazily got out of bed but before her feet could hit the ground her guts wanted to come up. Her head was in the toilet bowl more often than she would have liked. “If my morning sickness keeps getting the best of me I won’t even make it to my wedding.” She gargled with mouthwash and rinsed her mouth. She dragged herself to the kitchen and poured some orange juice.

  The doorbell rang and she said, “Who could that be?” She was hoping that it wasn’t Mark but was also anticipating his return. She approached the door and her right eye looked through the peephole. Three bridesmaids stood with their hands behind them. They are trying to hide my presents. Nikki was gleeful. She opened the door and their hands came forward and sprayed her with streamers.

  “How do you feel the day before your wedding?” Her friend, Genie, shouted with joy.

  “What if Mark was here? You would ruin everything.”

  “The wedding is tomorrow and he’s still not back. I would be worried if I were you,” Lashawn said, spraying more streamers on her head.

  “Don’t worry, Nikki, he will be back and he will say yes. I mean I do,” Genie stated as she helped Nikki take the streamers from her body. “And how is my little niece or nephew doing?” Genie rubbed her belly.

  “I still can’t keep anything down.”

  Lashawn sprayed more streamers on her belly. “You need to get dressed. We have a big day planned for you.”

  Nikki and her bridesmaids spent the day pampering themselves with pedicures, manicures, and a spa treatment, but Nikki kept checking her phone to make sure that she didn’t miss any calls from Mark. Genie tried to be optimistic of the whole situation, but Tina had something negative to say every time Nikki turned her back. “Somebody needs to tell her the damn truth.” Tina looked at Genie.

  “Why are you looking at me?” Genie snapped.

  “You are supposedly her best friend.” Tina snapped back at her.

  “Maybe you are just damn jealous,” Genie attacked.

  “What the hell are you two arguing about? Nikki wants to plan a surprise wedding without Mark’s knowledge that is her damn business!” Lashawn scolded.

  “But I just know it’s ridiculous.” Tina gave her last word.

  “Well you don’t have to be a part of it then.” Genie stated her last words too.

  Nikki reentered the room and heard Genie’s statement. “Don’t have to be a part of what?” Nikki curiously asked.

  “Go ahead, Tina, fill her in.”

  Tina didn’t say a word. She remained silent.

  The next morning Nikki woke up early. Her anticipation wouldn’t allow her to sleep. She was filled with anxiety. She lowered her feet to the floor but she felt something other than her bed slippers and hastily pulled her feet back. She had forgotten that Tina and Lashawn had made beds on the floor. They had a long night last night reminiscing about old times and stuffing their bodies with calories from popcorn. She stepped over the two squatters, not wanting to wake them. She wanted to get a head start in the bathroom before all the bickering started. She viewed herself in the mirror and took a deep breath, trying to get rid of the jitters that were now consuming her nerves.

  “Hi, early bird.” Tina entered the bathroom and went straight for the toilet and emptied her bladder. Nikki grabbed her heart, covering her eyes, as she recovered from an almost heart attack. “You want me to make you breakfast?” Tina asked as she flushed the toilet.

  “Are you planning on washing your hands?”

  “Maybe I should add some flavor to the scrambled eggs.” She wiggled her hands in Nikki’s face.

  “You are so disgusting.”

  Tina pushed her out of the way and stuck her hands under the faucet. “So did he call?” Tina inquired.

  “He said he was coming back today and I believe he is,” she said as she stepped into the shower.

  “Say no more!” Tina left the bathroom.

  Nikki finished her shower and the aroma of scrambled eggs and pancakes hit her nostrils. She adorned her robe and made her way to the kitchen. I hope this baby will allow me to have a nice breakfast on my wedding day.

  “Something sure smells good.” Lashawn said as she came out of the bedroom, and Genie was right behind her.

  “You hungry vultures better go take care of your morning breath before entering the kitchen.”

  “Good morning Mrs. Gray! ,” Lashawn said, walking past her.

  “That does sound good. Say it again.” Nikki had a wide smile from ear to ear.

  “Are you ready for your honeymoon, Mrs. Gray?” Genie asked.

  “Hell yes, I am.” Nikki and Genie both screamed as they hugged each other.

  “What’s all this commotion?” Tina asked as she ran from the kitchen with the spatula in her hand and witnessed Genie and Nikki jumping around like two kids at recess.

  After breakfast Lashawn did Nikki’s hair. She gave her an up do to show off her high cheekbones. Her hair turned out beautiful. Lashawn was a hairdresser, not by trade, but somehow she learned the craft by watching her aunt, who was a professional. Genie was going to wear her hair down so she was next to get her hair flat ironed, while Tina was getting her makeup done. Finally getting some time to herself Nikki seized the moment and went to her bedroom and called Mark.

  “Hello,” Mark answered in a husky voice.

  “Hi, honey! I can’t wait to see you.”

  “I’m actually leaving the airport right now. I’ll be there in a few.”

  Nikki did a little dance.

  “I’ll talk to you later.” Mark was about to dismiss her.

  “Mark! Mark! Before you go, I’m going to need you to pick me up from Emmanuel Apostolic Church; the one around the corner from my job.”

  “Why?”

  Nikki cleared her throat and prepared to sell her lie. “I’m attending a fundraiser and by the time you get here it should be wrapping up. So I figure we can go get something to eat and talk after.”

  “No problem. I have to go.”

  “I love you, baby.”

  Nikki opened
the bedroom door and the house was filled with excitement. Concerned bridesmaids questioned if they could still fit in their dresses. “Oh my God!” Nikki ran to the kitchen where Tina was getting her makeup done. “He’s on his way!”

  “And what’s the problem?” Tina questioned.

  “He can’t get to the church before me, the wedding will be ruined.”

  Tina got up out of the chair and she sat down. “Can you go get dressed and tell Lashawn and Genie to hurry up please?” Nikki’s phone beeped, indicating she had a text message. She looked at her phone and the message was from Mark. Her heart started to pound as she anxiously read it.

  You’re willing to spend the rest of your life with me but I’m so far from perfect. I’ve been carrying a burden on my shoulders and today I will relieve myself of it.

  What does this mean? Am I the burden he speaks of? Is he going to rid me from his life? No, I can’t be.

  She read the message a second time, skeptical of what Mark was saying. He’s probably going to confess to a lie that he told me, but today is our wedding day. I will just have to forgive him.

  “He loves me and that’s all that really matters.” She inhaled and exhaled, dismissing her jitters.

  It didn’t take long to do her makeup because she wanted it simple. But Bryanna, her makeup artist, managed to convince her to try some fake lashes. A light foundation and mascara to pop her eyes was enough for her. The pink lip gloss made her lips full.